As another year draws to a close, people reflect upon the past. As mentioned in my post, “Do you drive looking at the rear-view mirror,” although we cannot change history we can learn from it, else we’re doomed to repeat it.
For some, be they the reviewers or those being reviewed, the thought of “performance review” raises their blood pressure and anxiety level. They may be concerned or fearful about delivering or receiving feedback. They may be apprehensive about confrontational encounters due to disagreements. Some worry that relationships could be damaged. Others are concerned that their popularity and reputation could be damaged.
Depending on the cultural context, the communication could get lost in translation, e.g., low context and explicit vs. high context and implicit. Typically, leaders from the West are assertive and open, and they over-communicate, whereas leaders from the East are more passive (aggressive) and private, they expect others to read between the lines (or read the air). Those from the West prefer to deliver and receive negative feedback directly, while those from the East prefer indirect negative feedback. Also, those in the West take a confrontational approach in expressing disagreement, but those in the East avoid confrontation.
In particular, it has been asserted, “What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.” This Confucian apothegm has left many in a state of confusion. Those who were raised in the East think that they shouldn’t be critical of others because what goes around comes around. Taking verse one out of the context of Matthew 7, some refrain from judging lest they be accused of being judgmental. So if you don’t want to be criticized, then don’t criticize others. Some have actually mistaken this as the “Golden Rule” taught by Jesus when He declared, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31). However, note that Jesus’ Golden Rule is in the affirmative: to do; but Confucius taught the negative: to not do! Jesus’ rule was based on gold, not fool’s gold.
Bottom line: Proceed with prudence. Consider the context.